Old Friends

Who says MySpace has outlived its usefulness? It was instrumental in allowing a beloved friend from my raver days to find me. Amongst the happy smiles and catching up was the sad news I had to share about my brother being killed. This friend used to work with him years ago and it came as shock to her. With the two-year anniversary of his death having just passed, it's been a hard rest of the night for me.

gamas te eh degado de querer

January 2011 was the last time we talked and I didn't know if he was alive or dead. His last login date was August 16, 2011 and, despite my willing that date to change each time I looked, it didn't budge. Was he lost again in the hills of Tijuana, trying to make his way back to me? Back to us? Had he found a job? A new love?

Then, on March 10th, 2012, the date changed. One week before the three-year anniversary of his departure from me, from us, from U.S.

I sent him an offline IM and prayed to gods I don't even believe in that he would reply. Prayers answered:

me gustaria verte de nuevo gamas te eh degado de querer regresare a sandiego cuando este aya te veo tambien te llevo dentro de mi corazon

"I've never stopped loving you." How can these words have brought me to tears? Drops of relief, of love, of hope. Just words. Words I've heard for three years. And yet he never comes.

Three years ago today he went away and still I mourn. My new boyfriend and I will be celebrating our two year anniversary this June. And still I mourn.