Survey Sunday-- Which Ender's Game Character Are You?

Which Ender's Game Character are You?
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Survey Sunday-- Act Your Age

You Are 27 Years Old

27 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Another Meme

Current mood: hungry

How tall are you?
5'10"

Have you ever smoked heroin?
What? You can SMOKE heroin??!! Eghads!

Do you own a gun?
No. Don't trust myself with one!

Have you ever been arrested?
No.

Rehab?
I'm assuming that, in this case, "rehab" refers to "drug rehab". So the answer would be no. If it's referring to "physical therapy" the answer would be yes.

How many of your friends have committed suicide?
None.

Do you shave your crotch?
No. I have had my crotch shaved for a hernia operation, though. It itched when it grew back.

Would you fuck someone in a cemetery?
If he were a vampire.

Do you ever punch yourself?
Maybe slap myself around a little...

Have you ever killed an animal?
Not purposely.

Are you Irish?
Nope. American. If you're talking about my ancestry, it's English and German. Irish people probably would hate the likes of me!

Who would you punch if you could?
Dang, this survey is violent! I think I'd punch George Bush, but he's already pretty brain-damaged. Could I kick him in the crotch instead?

What do you think of hot dogs?
I don't like them. I have to disguise them with lots of mustard and relish in order to eat them.

What is your favorite smell?
I have many, it's difficult to pick just one. I love Obsession for Men when Chuy wears it.

What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
I always greet the morning with a big glass of water and then later, a Diet Coke.

If you had the chance, which city would you go to right now, SF or NYC right now?
NYC. I have been to SF recently but not to NYC since 1985.

Do you do pushups?
*snorts derisively* NO!

Do you ever fantasize about murder?
Sure, but only on a global "Queen of the Damned" scale. I don't lust for any one person's blood.

Would you fuck Victoria Gotti if you could?
Um...no. I'm a woman, for one thing. But if I were a man, I would find her sleazy and annoying.

Have you ever done ecstasy?
No, can you believe I spent over a year in the rave scene and was never convinced to try it?

Are you straightedge?
No. I drink every once in a while.

Are you vegan?
HELL NO!! I think vegans are INCREDIBLY self-righteous and annoying. Human are OMNIVORES and are meant to eat meat.

Do you shoplift?
No. I'm not eight years old! Sheesh!

What’s the last thing you stole?
I stole some woman from Florida's source code for my original blog until I could find something more original. I got caught, too! (see my blog about it titled "Beach House Rules")

Do you ski or snowboard?
No. No interest in it, and now I can't due to my osteoporosis.

What do you think of moustaches?
I love them! Chuy, grow yours back, please!!

Do you use hair gel?
No. I have perfect hair.

Do you sniff cocaine?
No, never. Sniffing flowers is more my speed.

Who is your favorite serial killer?
Wow, I have a sick fascination with serial killers. I think my favorite is Charles Sobhraj a.k.a. "Serpentine". Sobhraj is a Euro-trash version of Ted Bundy. I like my sociopaths with some style!

Have you ever made out with your friend's bf or gf?
NO. That would be the lowest of the low.

Have you ever been caught mid-hump?
No, but mid-makeout by my stepdad when I was, like, 16.

Have you been shot?
NO!

Have you ever been hospitalized?
Yes, a few times.

Do you like painkillers?
Yes and no. I was on them for many months due to the aforementioned hospitalizations and they helped enormously, but I think they killed some of my brain cells. I swear I am much stupider now.

What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
I don't know! You'd have to ask my many victims!

Have you ever lubed up your genitals with soy milk?
What the...?????

Do you own a knife?
Just kitchen knives and it took me years to get up the nerve to buy really good ones. Too afraid I might use them inappropriately!

Have you played ghettopoly?
No, but I read about it.

Have you ever bought drugs in the "ghetto" or "hood"?
No. Generally, I stay away from those areas. I'm a tall, blonde, white woman. I wouldn't exactly be lo pro.

Do you have ADD?
No. I have no learning disabilities whatsoever. Numbers seem to exit my brain really easily, though. Perhaps some discalcula?

Have you ever had a head injury?
Not that I can remember!

How many virgins have u slept with?
None that I know of. I wouldn't want to.

Do u love the pain a tattoo brings?
I don't have any tattoos, so I guess the answer is no.

Have you ever had a near death experience?
Not really. My skydiving accident was probably the closest, but I was already on the ground when my ankle snapped and I landed face first in the mud.

Have you ever owned shoes that had Velcro fasteners?
Yes. Pants, too. Velcro's kewl!

If you found your true love and your child hanging from a cliff who would you grab first?
Neither. I have arthritis and a shoulder injury. I'd never be able to hold on. I'd get some help and rescue them both!

Love Note
Current mood: starry-eyed

I hadn't gone grocery shopping in a week, and our larder was rather empty. Even worse, Chuy was out of coffee and cookies. It must be understood that coffee and cookies are Chuy's breakfast every morning and, for him, to be out of them both would be tragic.

So, last night, as I was putting away the coffee, cookies, and other items that I had just bought at Albertsons, I realized that this is what people who love each other do. They notice what it takes to make the other person happy, even if it's the simple act of keeping him replete with Nestle Clasico and MarieLu's.

I was so filled with love at that moment that I grabbed one of my pink stickynotes, penned "Te amo!" in large purple letters and stuck it to the brand new coffee jar. I knew that when Chuy opened up the cupboard the next morning, it would be the first thing he saw.

What I didn't expect was that, today, when I got home and made a beeline for the computer, the first thing I saw, stuck to the screen, was my love note. In large purple letters that matched the intensity of my declaration to him, Chuy had added "MI TO MY LOVE"

Survey Sunday-- Global Personality Test

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (37%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness (66%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun. Extraversion (73%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

trait snapshot:

clean, self revealing, open, organized, outgoing, social, enjoys leadership and managing others, dominant, makes friends easily, does not like to be alone, assertive, hard working, finisher, optimistic, positive, likes to stand out, likes large parties, respects authority, practical, high self esteem, perfectionist, dislikes chaos, busy, not familiar with the dark side of life, controlling, high self control, traditional, tough, likes to fit in, conforming, brutally honest, takes precautions

Survey Sunday-- What Kind of Handbag Are You?

You Are a Classic Gucci Bag You've got style mastered - because you stick with what works Like this Gucci Bag, you prefer classic items that stand the test of time You're also a bit of a practical girl, who prefers function over fluff You prefer a big bag, so that you can have your stuff with you at all times What Kind of Handbag Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Death of the American Dream
Current mood: morose

Maybe it was after reading The Great Gatsby in high school that I received my first inkling that no, in point of fact, you can't get whatever you want just by putting your mind to it. Regardless of how rich he had become or how many grand parties he threw, Jay Gatsby would never win Daisy away from Tom Buchanan. The realization killed him.

But it was 22 years later when I finally had to give up my dream of getting pregnant and giving birth to a healthy, lovely, intelligent child that I finally, finally got the message that wishing it so doesn't make it so. That working hard to make it so doesn't make it so. That "putting your mind to it" doesn't make it so. That some things just aren't so! And the realization didn't kill me.

But I wish it had.

from "I'm an Intern in New York"
Current mood: busting a gut

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I did not write the following blog, but I wish I had! It's about buying fake purses in New York's Chinatown. This guy's blog is called I'm an Intern in New York. He works at Comedy Central. Enjoy!

Chinatown 2: The Revisiting
I thought I'd seen everything, ladies and gentlemen. When the Berlin Wall fell November 9th, 1989, once again uniting East and West Germany, I cried. When John Glenn lifted off for a second time at age 77 to become the oldest person to ever travel in space, I cheered. And when Tootie used a Hearse to take her driver's test in episode ..147 of The Facts Of Life, I nearly crapped my pants. But after this weekend, it became clear that I in fact hadn't seen everything.

On Saturday, I traveled with a friend to the downtown district known as Chinatown. She was looking for "a purse," which in Chinese means "3 or 4 purses." We browsed many store fronts, "fronts" being the important word for the day. More on that later.

It is bizarre to see little, old ladies trying to push merchandise on an unsuspecting public. You see them and think they're going to give you a sugar cookie or something, but instead they say, "I got what you need. You need something? I got what you need."

After one lady strolled up to me and told me she had what I needed, I said, "You have an original, still-in-the-packaging, mint condition Star Wars Millennium Falcon action playset??" She looked around shifty-eyed. And then, wouldn't you know it, out of her pantaloons came an original, mint condition Star Wars Millennium Falcon action playset, still in the packaging. Amazing, I thought.

"I'll give you $5 for that," I said.

She said, "What? Look, mint condition. You look, still in packaging. Hard to find. I sell for $15."

Here's where my haggling skills come into play. Watch and learn, ladies and gentlemen...

"Deal!" I said, grabbing her hand almost violently and then shaking it.




Haggling Skill No. 256
When you want to end your haggling session and accept the given offer, yell "Deal!," grabbing the person's hand almost violently and then shaking it.


So, I had what I came for. Now, we needed to find a purse for my friend. But where? Where in Chinatown would we possibly find a purse, specifically one that's inexpensive, poorly made, and sold by big, burly males who seem to know an awful lot about purses for being so big and burly?

At last, success! Hidden away behind all the purse stands was a purse stand. This purse stand looked much like a garage. I think it was the garage door which made it look that way. The walls reminded me of a Payless shoe store. And also a garage. Hung all over were purses, purses, purses of all colors, shapes, and sizes. The big, burly gentleman managing the place was eager to please and was a master "purseman," I might add. His knowledge of purses seemed to explode out of him.

"Here you go. This one shiny. Glitters a bunch. Make you look real pretty for going out to dinner," he said. "Here, you look. It opens, it closes, it glitters. It real shiny."

"You sure do know your purses, sir," I said. "I mean, come on," I said to my friend. "What other choice is there? This one opens AND closes! And LOOK, it's all glittery and shiny and shit."

But, alas, despite the expert sales pitch, my friend wasn't convinced. She quickly glanced at the three walls of the purse stand which weren't a garage door. She asked the purseman if he had anything else, besides what was on display.

Here's where the purseman became very quiet. He looked us up and down suspiciously. Then, he went to the back wall of the garage -- I mean, purse stand. Oh fine, it was a garage, okay? It was a garage dressed up to looked like purse stand. Are you happy?

Anyway, he went to back wall of the purse stand and, after looking out onto the walkway entrance for a second or two, knocked on the wall three times.* To my surprise, a small section of the wall, maybe 5 ft. high by 3 ft. wide, clicked and then opened up.** There seemed to be whole other section of purses available, probably the ones which were acquired through legitimate channels, and not ones which were in any way illegal. ***

The purseman gestured for my friend and I to go inside. My friend went in to look at the recently uncovered purses, which again I can only assume were obtained through the most honest and reputable channels. I mean, let's be frank here, people. Some purses are just too non-illegal to be kept in the front. Am I right?

The purseman closed the door behind her, then he asked me if I wanted to go inside, too.

"No thanks," I said. "Just make sure she comes out again and doesn't become part of some illegal, underground, sweatshop slavery ring, alright?"



Haggling Skill No. 128

If the person you're shopping with is suddenly removed from your field of vision, be sure to tell a nearby clerk that you don't want them to become part of some illegal, underground, sweatshop slavery ring.


Well, I'm happy to report that my friend did come out of the tiny door, and was completely unharmed. She did smell like a cock fight, but that's neither here nor there. Unfortunately, she didn't find a purse.

So, broken and beaten, we wandered the streets of Chinatown aimlessly, hoping to find another stand that sold purses. Five feet later, we'd found one. And, astonishingly enough, we'd passed ten on the way.

Well, my friend eventually found a purse, and a fun time was had by all.


Chinatown Fun Fact!

Not many know this about Chinatown, but its people, its hundreds of restaurants and shops, and its booming fruit and fish markets are actually 87% purse.****


* I'm not good enough to make this part up.
** Or this.
*** Or this.
**** This, I am.