What is your signature move?

Um...does mouse-clicking count as a "signature move"?

What target demographic are you a part of?

I'm a REJUVENILE.

I read Harry Potter, watch anime, and secretly lust after Hello Kitty stuff. I've managed to extend my childhood waaaaay beyond its intended expiration date and just don't know when I'm ever going to put down my toys and grow up!

What do you want for your birthday?

Despite the fact that I have, like, the longest Amazon.com wishlist known to man, what I'd really like for my birthday is a trip to Paris. My beloved and I would walk hand-in-hand down the famous Paris streets, stopping off here and there for coffee and croissant, whilst vaguely Parisian music is (magically) piped in in the background, and, somehow, no one is rude to us. Then, he'd buy me some little bauble that I spied in a quaint locals-only-type store as a souvenir of THE. BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVAR!

Why do your friends like you, and why do your enemies hate you?

My friends love me because I can be very sweet, fun, and keep up my end of the conversation. My enemies hate me because I'm very particular about how things are done and I don't suffer fools gladly.

What do you want to see in your fortune cookie?

"The best is yet to come"

That would bring me "good fortune" on sooooo many levels!

(Anyone else add "in bed" to the end of their fortunes?)

What Jeopardy category would you dominate?

I'll take Potent Pocrastinators for $1,000, Alex.

What is your favorite toy?

I liked those Fisher-Price play sets. You know, the farm (when you opened the barn door, it made a "mooing" sound), the yellow school bus (with the retractable stop sign), and the garage (it had a hand crank that lifted up the little car, elevator-style, to the second floor).

P.S. Technically, these toys belonged to my younger brother but, face it, didn't the boys always get the cooler toys?

Other than the souls of small children, what do you collect?

Quotations. I am a voracious reader and, consequently, come across many clever, thought-provoking, funny statements made by other people. The collection is completely random and consists of pretty much whatever I find to be worthy of inclusion. As a result, something said by Strongbad from Homestarrunner.com is nestled up against a statement by Sophocles, while a beautiful bon mot by Pee-Wee Herman hangs out next to verbiage by Voltaire.

What is the worst mistake you ever made?

In retrospect, skydiving probably wasn't such a good idea. Thank goodness for excellent health insurance!

What skeletons live in your closet?

This one! Isn't she so cute?! I have one in every color...

Big Crunch or Endless Expansion: What is your theory on the fate of the universe?

Well, from this angle, I'd say "Endless Expansion"!!

Where are you headed?

For the hills!!

What civil rights are you still missing out on?

The right to be dead honest with people about their kids:
"Congratulations, Mrs. Smith. By refusing to hold your son accountable for his actions, you've raised a fucking sociopath."
"Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Your lack of class and good grammar has prepared young Morgan here perfectly for a job mopping up the back room of a 24-hour porn shop. You must be so proud."

On what do you spend too much money?

Fresh food.

The $2.49 loaf of bread that gets tossed after five days with several slices uneaten, the week-old head of $2 lettuce I used only a few leaves from before throwing out, the $3 unopened can of soup that I got rid of because I couldn't remember when I'd purchased it.
If you add it all up over the years, I must have misspent hundreds of dollars on food that went uneaten because it was no longer fresh.

What's the worst trouble you've ever gotten yourself into?

When I let my two "friends" talk me into going on an "adventure" to Candy Mountain...