An Open Letter to Bill Maher

Current mood: argumentative

Dear Bill Maher,

The other night I was fortunate enough to see your one-man Broadway show, on HBO. Although I greatly respect and admire you and many of the things you believe and say, I feel moved to argue on behalf of womankind when you complain of "the feminization of America". As I understand it, your main points are: 1) Humankind would not have survived thus far had it not been for "men being men" 2) Due to women being over-sensitive, men can no longer behave in their "men being men" fashion, therefore weakening our country and turning men into "wusses" (that's not the actual word you used, but I don't believe in using women's body parts as a perjorative.) 3) You also stated that "women are supposedly more evolved than men" (and then joked that, if that were true, why are women so enthralled with shiny objects?). So, here's what I think:

None of us today were present when early humanity rose from the muck and stood erect, but scientists (most of them male, by the way) are piecing together as best they can exactly what is true and not true about ancient mankind, and admitting that women played the major role in the furthering of our species. Recently, it has come to light that there was much more "gathering" and much less "hunting" than was first imagined. As we know, women were the gatherers, non-violently providing the vast bulk of food needed for the tribe. When the men did manage to hunt, it was the women who gutted, skinned, cleaned, cooked, and served the animal. Afterward, it was the woman who fashioned the skin into warm clothing and bedding, used the bones for tools, etc. As much as I personally find most vegetarians to be annoying, even I must admit that a meat-free diet is healthier for human beings, and that we can get all of our nutritional needs met with vegetable protein. The women of the tribe provided far more of this sustenance for the tribe than the men did. Therefore, it was women being women, not men being men, that aided our first ancestors to thrive.

That's all well and good, you may say, but what about protecting the women and children from danger? If men hadn't been men, humanity would have been just so much raptor food. Bill, scientists pretty much have proven that human beings and dinosaurs never existed concurrently. It wasn't Fred Flintstone braining T-Rex while Wilma and Pebbles looked on adoringly. Therefore, killer instinct and upper-body development in order to bring huge beasts to their knees weren't really necessary for the survival of our species. What of smaller beasts, then? What of that stray snaggle-toothed tiger or wooly mammoth? Well, wooly mammoths are herbivores, so they posed no eat-or-be-eaten threat to humanity. As for a snaggle-tooth...haven't you ever heard of the supernatural strength that women have when their families are in jeopardy?

I have no doubt that ancient woman could and did protect herself and her progeny from bestial predators by using the survival skills she was blessed with...no man necessary. So, looking at it dispassionately, what was humanity's greatest threat? Other men, Bill! So, your supposition that "men being men" has been the cause of the survival of our species is wrong. It's actually men being men that threatens and has threatened and, in all likelihood, will continue to threaten our existence.

Your next point, about the "feminization of America" turning men into wusses who can't "be men" is also incorrect. One only has to look at the alarming statistics regarding rape, murder, assault, robbery, vandalism, torture, and even littering to see that men are definitely "being men", and often at a great cost to women.

In this "men being men" America that you seem to want, nuns are raped and strangled with their own rosary beads, pregnant women are murdered by their husbands and thrown in the ocean, three year old girls are abducted from their own front yards, raped, killed, and left in drainage ditches. Brutality is glorified and financially rewarded. Professional sports such as boxing and football rake in billions and sensitivity is kicked to the curb. Teachers (a female-dominated profession) live in housing projects, not mansions. Social workers (also a female-dominated profession) get buried in an avalanche of paperwork, not paychecks.

You're wrong, Bill, America has not been feminized. Its women have been marginalized, and for too long. Now that some of our "feminine" values, such as cooperation, non-violent resolution of conflict, and nurturing of spirit are finally coming into play, of course it's going to make some people nervous. I'm surprised that you are one of them, Bill. Who wouldn't want an America that cooperates instead of litigates, that solves problems with conversations instead of weapons?

If some big bad comes over to threaten our country, that cavewoman protecting her young will come to the fore and we'll do what we have to, even if it means physical retaliation. Then, once the wounds are licked, we can sit down and discuss what caused that country or faction or whatever to attack us and explore ways to work together instead of against each other. We can still disagree, but why do we have to do it the "men being men" way? We've tried that already, and I can't believe that you are really that pleased with the results.

Yes, "political correctness" has been taken too far at times. However, I think that's a symptom of people not feeling comfortable talking about differences without hearing a judgment inherent in it. Once we finally get that we are all in this together and that, as Americans, there is more to bind us together than to separate us, this country will "evolve" to the next level of greatness...just like, as you have alluded, many women have already begun to do. Why don't you join us?

I welcome your comments and counter-arguments.

Respectfully yours,

Angel

"Do Something Difficult" Monday

Current mood: nonplussed

This was a busy day.

After the housecleaners left, Chuy and I went to breakfast at Denny's. Then, we dropped off some film at Costco. I edited my blog template to reflect my two favorite colors, purple and green. Then, I returned the movies we rented last week and got a manicure and pedicure (Royal Flush Blush, same color as last time). I washed the towels and bathroom rugs. I cooked dinner (Shake 'n' Bake chicken with Stovetop chicken stuffing, and a side dish of peas). Turned out really delicious.

Then, since I have to do something difficult every Monday (a promise I made to myself to do during this summer), I opened up a discussion with Mom about her behavior yesterday.

On Sunday morning, she got really mad at me because she wanted to go to the movies and I had already committed myself to cleaning out the garage. Her thinking was that it was Sunday and she had to work during the week, so I should go to the movies with her on the weekend.

When I reiterated that I had planned to work on the garage, she yelled, accusingly, "You don't want to spend time with me!", got up, and left the apartment.

What the..........???? We hadn't made plans to go to the movies and, since the housecleaners were coming today, Chuy made it clear that he really wanted the storage boxes and boxes of books in our livingroom to be gone by then. Besides, I was truly looking forward to working on Stage Three of my "Great Garage Makeover" summer project.

Anyway, I did end up working all day on the garage (from 10 am to 3:30 pm). I am very pleased with my progress and don't regret one bit of how I chose to spend my day.

When Mom came home, she didn't speak to me until about 5:30 pm when she asked if I wanted her to heat up the leftover steaks from the night before (she cooks Saturdays and Sundays, and I cook Mondays and Tuesdays).

We ate dinner and everything seemed somewhat normal. However, in our typical fashion, neither of us mentioned her little outburst and her storming out.

So, although (because) it was difficult, I brought it up today. She started crying almost immediately. My intention wasn't to make her cry, but to find out what the problem was.

Before the discussion was over, she had yelled, "Why did I even move in with you?" and said she was going to move out, blah, blah. *sigh*

Of course, she had to tell me that I want everything my own way (which is true, and I'm not the least bit apologetic about that, by the way) and acted like I was keeping her from doing........who knows? Her life is pretty good here. She thinks it isn't. Whatever.....

Anyway, we established that if she had diarrhea and needed the bathroom immediately, that it was okay to say, "It's an emergency" instead of saying "Let me know when you're done in the bathroom." When someone says "Let me know when you're done in the bathroom" it's code for "You're taking too damn long in the bathroom. It's my turn now." Since I don't take long in the bathroom (15 minutes at most) I tend to get very PISSED OFF at anyone who tries to hurry me up. Therefore, it's usually counterproductive to try to hurry me. However, I know what it's like to have diarrhea hit you all of a sudden (a family trait, perhaps??) and there have been times when I told Chuy to clear out of the bathroom, pronto, 'cuz I couldn't hold it for one second more. If my mom had let me know she was sick, I would have gotten out immediately, toothbrush in hand, or whatever.

She also said that she feels like a boarder (a claim which is RIDICULOUS...I would charge her much more rent if that were the case!), etc. She needs to learn not to count on me to provide her social life. I don't have any friends. Obviously, I'm not very good at being social! It would seem, therefore, a folly to expect it of me. Before the discussion was over, I was in tears, too.

Anyway, I guess she feels better now. We'll see.

An Evening (Okay, More Like a Week!) with Kevin Smith

Current mood: sated

Today I picked up my new Weekender clothes from Sheila S., then went to Wal-Mart to buy some more boxes to store my books (I now have 15 boxes full of books!!), and then went to the dry cleaner to have the elastic in the waistband of my navy silk suit replaced.

On the way home, I went grocery shopping and picked up some steaks for tomorrow.

Also, Chuy and I watched Dogma. This is the fourth Kevin Smith movie that I've watched this week. On Monday, I watched Clerks, Mallrats, and after Mom came home, Chasing Amy.

I love how Kevin Smith connects his characters within the different movies. My friend, Ryan R., has been waxing poetic on the Kevin Smith movies for years, and couldn't believe that I had never seen any.

So, anyway, now that I've watched Dogma, next I'll be watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

What did I think of Dogma? It certainly seems the most professional Kevin Smith film so far. He grapples with some pretty big ideas about faith, God, going home again, etc. I definitely resonated with Bethany's character being infertile and her impregnation by God(dess) at the end was my favorite part.

Tempest in a Teacup

Current mood: mercurial

I've been dying to go outside, since I've cooped myself up in the house reading Harry Potter and various magazines (Travel + Leisure, Real Simple, etc.).

I could feel myself spinning into a depression, since Chuy had come in too late from getting his haircut for us to make the 11:00 a.m. showing of 28 Days Later, which we had made plans to see.

I was upset because I got myself out of bed, bathed, and got dressed so that we wouldn't be late. I kept looking out the window every two minutes, willing him to come home, telling myself, well, there's still enough time, okay, they're probably still showing previews, we can still make it (the theatre is only about five minutes away)...but he came in at 11:08. I absolutely refuse to see a movie if I've missed the first few minutes of it. The exposition is really important to me. I want to be in on the action from the get-go.

Anyway, I was really pissed. Chuy said, "I'm sorry, what do you want me to do?"

"Don't leave at 10 minutes to 10:00 to get a haircut when you know we're going to see a movie at 11:00!" I shouted.

After several false starts, Chuy and I ended up having lunch at Via Italia, a good Italian restaurant that has outdoor seating. The service wasn't great (they only had one waitress for the ENTIRE restaurant), but the luncheon tasting menu was a pretty good deal. I ordered my lunch with such a great Italian accent that the Italian waitress actually asked me, in Italian, what I wanted to drink! I panicked only for a split second, then ordered iced tea...in Italian! Yay me! Oh, and my depression lifted within a few minutes of sitting in the sunshine. Yay sunshine!

Then, Chuy and I finally saw 28 Days Later. It was okay. I'm grappling with the storytelling a little bit. I mean, I understand why the girls were going to be raped (basically, to give the male lead a chance to heroically rescue them) and I understand why the girl's father had to die (same reason as above), but I guess I was hoping for something deeper. The scene I liked best was them being stuck in the tunnel when the girl was changing the tire. That had me.

Later, on the way home, we dropped off the Kevin Smith movies I had rented and picked up three more -- Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and We Were Soldiers (subtitled in Spanish).

We Were Soldiers was a very bloody, moving, true story of Colonel Hal Moore and the army that he led into the first American battle in Vietnam. For me, the scenes with the army wives packed the most emotional wallop. We watch as telegram after telegram is delivered to the wives, many with young children, stating that their husbands have been killed in action. There I am sitting on the couch, tears streaming down my face, and Chuy tells me that he really wants to be a soldier. He likes the uniform. I give him a look and a pout, and he goose-steps over to me and gives me a big kiss. God, I love that man!