These are the Times that Try (Wo)Men's Souls
Current mood: apoplectic


*sigh*

My aunt is a piece of work.

I woke up, showered and dressed, then realized that I was wearing the wrong shoes for that day's outfit, so I went out to my Jeep to unearth the correct ones from the back seat. I saw my aunt standing in the den, but wanted to get myself prepared for another exhausting test of wills with this woman first. Can you believe she practically chased me outside?! "Good morning!" she cried. What, was she afraid I was going to drive off without saying goodbye? "Good morning," I replied, sticking my head up from the back of the Jeep. "What do you want for breakfast?" "Oh, whatever you're having," I responded, trying to be polite. "Well, I was up at seven, so I've already eaten two hours ago." Ah, so the digs begin. Meanwhile, both my cousins, Ryan and Rhonda, are still asleep. Why give me grief? "What do you want me to make you?" I take a deep breath and venture, "Pancakes?" "Okay," she nods. "Do you eat sausage?" "Yes," I affirm. "How about pancakes, sausage, and decaffeinated coffee?" "That sounds like a paradise breakfast!" I respond, enthusiastically smiling. "A par-adise breakfast. Well, o-kay." And it was a great breakfast, marred only by her incessant talking about how much weight she'd lost on Weight Watchers. Not the best topic of conversation when I am trying to enjoy my carbs and fat.

After breakfast, I asked if she would drive me to Garden Ridge, a place where she had taken my mom and me when we visited her in 2000. I had found these really kewl sets of glasses, including a special one that Chuy adored, but all of them had gotten broken over the years (see my January 2nd posting for the story of the last one's demise). I was really excited at the prospect of being able to pick up some more. "Well, if you want glasses, we should go to Big Lots." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She wanted to take me to Pic 'n' Save to buy glassware?! Of course, I don't expect her to know that my china and glassware are fuckin' Wedgwood but it should be obvious to anyone that I already had perfectly good glasses at home and was just trying to replace the unique ones I had from Garden Ridge. I left out the Wedgwood info, but did tell her my reasons for wanting to go specifically to Garden Ridge. So, where did we go? Big Lots. This woman is clearly used to getting her own way. At Pic 'n' Sa...excuse me, Big Lots, I bought a cheap broom and dust pan, aluminum foil, and Handi-Wipes. But we went to Garden Ridge, too. If she hadn't taken me, I would have driven myself there as soon as we returned to her house. I'm used to getting my own way, too. Garden Ridge didn't end up having the glasses I wanted, but I did buy some decent other ones, plus a nice pitcher.

When we returned from our shopping trip, we chatted for a while (translation: she word vomited and I nodded at appropriate intervals) and then she mentioned going to Half Price Books. This got me very excited. "Sounds like a dangerous place for my wallet," I laughed. "We should have lunch while we're out. What is there to eat over there?" she wondered aloud. "There's The Waffle House," she remembered. Oh, kewl! I had seen several Waffle Houses on my way to Arlington, but they were definitely not places I would have gone to by myself. My favorite meal is breakfast, though, and I sure didn't mind having it twice in one day.

It was noon by this time, and Rhonda was up. We convinced her to accompany us. This was my chance to spend some time with my cousin. Thankfully, she's nothing like her mother and actually listens as well as talks. Perhaps she's just had no choice, given what she's been up against all her life.

I'm sure my aunt means well, but I am just not used to be spoken to so patronizingly. "Oh A-," she tsked when she found out I had purchased several video games at Half Price Books, along with a few books, such as Bergdorf Blondes, a book that's been on my "Wanna Read" list for ages. I let her go on about how "surprised" she was, and then pointed out to her that some of the games I had bought for $5 were worth $40 new. What I wanted to say was, "Lady, you may have met me when I was an infant, but you don't know me and what you think you know about me is usually wrong."

On our way back, we stopped at a greengrocer, where I picked up an apple and some bananas and my aunt complained bitterly to the cashier about how much more expensive fruit is in Texas than in California. I'm sure you can picture how well that went over with the hapless employee.

When we got back, my cousin Ryan was up and dressed for work, so we got to chat for little while. After I gave my aunt her hostess gift (a box of See's candy, since I know it's her favorite. See? I'm not a complete social clod) and she browbeated me about not bringing a television with me ("Well, A-, you know, we have weather here in Texas and if there's a hurricane or a blizzard, they have a little ticker at the bottom of the screen that warns you"...blah, blah, blah) I left, thankful for the hospitality, but grateful to be gone.

*********************************************************

So tonight I opened the door to my new condo. Yep, just as nice as I remembered. Blonde hardwood floors, blonde cabinetry, black granite countertops, white crown moulding, heavenly walk-in closet. The bathroom is as big as the bedroom! Okay, I didn't officially pace it out, but I really think it is!

I kind of snuck past the doorman and went straight up, concerned that somehow I would be prevented from entering since I hadn't let anyone know I was coming.

After I unloaded my clothes from the Jeep, I got my books, CD player, and video games (I have no way to play them, but why leave them in the back seat to tempt some "Serious Sam"-playing thief?) I unfurled my $59 BeautyRest air mattress and...promptly poked a hole in it! Yep, the broken antennae that I had completely forgotten about on the CD player popped right through it. GODDAMMIT! You have no idea how much I beat myself up over that. Thank goodness the mattress came with a patch kit, that I profanely adhered to the hole.

Tonight, I started reading Mirror Image, the Sandra Brown book my aunt lent me. I want to read it quickly, since she said she and Rhonda were coming to see my condo this week. She insisted that several people are waiting to read it. Gosh, I wouldn't want to keep them waiting.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my first night in my new place.