The Seven Deadly Sins Survey

WRATH

1. With whom did you last get angry?
A student who defied me.

2. What is your weapon of choice?
Words. Compassion. Sometimes guilt, if I think it will work.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
I guess so. I hit Chuy on the shinbone once. Damn near broke my hand! I'll never do that again!

4. How about of the same sex?
I just feel too old and fragile to do that, but I'm capable of anything if provoked.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Probably a student who didn't get his/her way and was too immature to see why I couldn't allow him/her to get his/her way.

6. What is your pet peeve?
Wow, too many to list here, but I guess my main one is being interrupted/not being listened to.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
OH YEAH, do I EVER keep grudges. There is really no rhyme or reason that I have about who gets forgiven and who never gets to see or hear from me again (or, worse, who gets my wrath). All I can say is that you never, never want to cross me. I am like a private detective/pitbull when it comes to finding out how to crush you. Sometimes just knowing that I COULD crush you keeps me from actually crushing you. Like I said, no rhyme or reason. Best not to find out!

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
Take my calcium. I know, I know. I'm absolutely CRAZY! I think it's because it gives me a stomachache (or because I really don't want to live).

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
Don't remember. Depends on when I go to bed! I need about nine hours of sleep, but usually get around seven.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
My dermatologist.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
Hmmm...not really one for lame excuses. I guess it would be "I've had a hard day, so it's okay to eat this Whopper. Oh, and king size it, would you? Oh, and could I add a strawberry shake to my order?"

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
Yes. I find them interesting. I've actually bought some stuff advertised on them. Can't say I recommend doing that!

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
What is this "workout" you speak of? Does pushing the remote count?

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
OMG! Like, four times! I hate getting up in the morning!

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Bottled water.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
White, white, white. I hate dark meat (except when it comes to men *lecherous laugh*)

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Don't know. Maybe four or five drinks? Certainly not when I'M buying!

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
No. I may need to, though!

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
Never used to, but then I turned 30 and it all went to hell. Since I was ill and had four surgeries in nine months and also quit taking fertility drugs, I recently lost 20 pounds. I'd love to keep them off and lose even more, but I don't advise using my "weight loss method"!

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Depends. Sometimes I prefer crunchy vs. smooth texture, or fresh vs. fried. Sometimes my cravings coincide with my cycle.

7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"?
WTF???? Hell no!

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
Don't remember. Many.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
Don't remember. Many.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
No. My gender of choice is a guy, and I don't look at their crotches. But, okay, once this well-endowed student had her blouse zipped down to her navel and her breasts were falling out and I really wanted to tell her to zip up her blouse, but that would mean admitting that I had noticed her breasts and I'm not a lesbian and it just wasn't worth "going there".

4. Have you "done it"?
Define "it".

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Chuy's tookus.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No, but I've been mistaken for one! Twice!

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
All the time. When you are going through infertility treatment, it's just a fact, Jack.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
Three.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Target!

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Pay off my mortgage, pay off my student loans, travel for a few weeks/months, and invest the rest. If I earned enough annual interest on the principal to equal my present salary, I'd quit my job.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich, rich, rich. I have NO desire to be famous.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
Yep. But it would have to be really megabucks (like $120,000 and above).

6. Have you ever stolen anything?
Yep.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
Maybe eight. I get them for free from amazon.com (Legally! You should try it!)

PRIDE

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
I went to Italy by myself for a month.

2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
I haven't a clue.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
Well, the only thing I wanted to accomplish was to have a baby. And I can't now. So, I bought a condo, which was my only other life goal. Why am I still alive? Beats me.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Yes. I like to win.

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Huh. I don't really enter contests like that. I know that I used to enjoy reaming other people in checkers games when I was, like, ten!

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Maybe. When I was in eighth grade, I did start answering questions on a test before the teacher told us to begin (and I got caught, and punished, like ALWAYS whenever I even attempt to do anything bad).

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
I corrected some essays, even when I didn't feel like it.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
My friend Katy's little girl, Marika. What an adorable child!

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
I'd say Erika, since she and I both have good taste and I know I could trust her. Plus, her apartment has such great potential!

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
I honestly do not know. Maybe Reese Witherspoon? She is young, has cute kids, a good career, and a hot husband. Plus, she's Southern and I'd like that.

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes, but it was an odd situation. I was driving to Los Angeles to see someone on weekends, you know how that is, and this woman was more geographically available. The guy and I broke up, but not about that, and not right away after I found out (when she called his apartment and I answered).

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Um, YEAH! Shall I make a list?! Let's start with my myopic eyes, my saggy boobs, my flat ass, my poochy stomach, my mole, the list goes on and on!

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Style.

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
In a way. I think it's clever.

8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
Well, obviously I'm no stranger to any of them! I guess I most often indulge in the sin of gluttony (based on my flab!).